Large Hadron Collider back on track

After some scientists theorizing that the large hardron collider (LHC) had gone back in time and warped the present so we wouldn't destroy the future, the machine is now back on track and undergoing startup tests this weekend.

Rather embarrassingly, the culprit to the machines refusal to recreate the moments after the big bang stems from a crumb of bread that found it's way into the machine resulting in a temperature differential, which is as far as we got in understanding anything to do with the machine. Needless to say we suspect said bird was on a suicide mission, sent by God to save mankind from their own folly.

But at least we'll get to celebrate Christmas. The death ray particle accelerator won't be doing a full run until January. Still time to get in a few rounds of Call of Duty. And prepare for Armageddon.

Last Updated on Saturday, 21 November 2009 01:01 Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:50